Power Rankings: NHL Teams as 80s Songs

Have you ever wondered which 80s song is most likely your favourite?

1. Nashville – You’re The Best (Joe Esposito)

Nashville has been a very, very good team this year. Pekka Rinne has been playing at an absolute insane level. I don’t know if they are as good as the Karate Kid, but definitely the best team in the NHL.

2. Tampa Bay – Everybody Wants To Rule The World (Tears For Fears)

Every year the Tampa Bay Lighting are in the running for being the best team in the league and this year has been no different. This has been a breakout year for Brayden Point and he is in contention for the best player on the Lightning.

3. Buffalo – Welcome To The Jungle (Guns N’ Roses)

The Buffalo Sabres have finally made it out of the basement of the NHL and are competing with the elites of the league. I believe that it is finally time to welcome them to the jungle that is the playoff race.

4. Toronto – You Make My Dreams (Daryl Hall & John Oates)

Not only is this their goal song, but this is the way that the majority of Leafs fans are feeling about their team. Mitch Marner has been absolutely dream-like for the Leafs this year and the fans hope that he will make their dreams of a cup come true.

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5. Washington – Our House (Madness)

After winning the Stanley Cup last season, they have not shown any signs of slowing down. The Cup was in their house this past summer and from the way things have been going for them, they fully intend to keep it there.

6. Minnesota – The Wild Boys (Duran Duran)

The Wild have been a surprising team this year, in my opinion. They have been led by the players on their team who would have been alive when the songs from this list were released and they are showing very promising signs of continuing their level of play.

7. Colorado – Don’t Stop Believin’ (Journey)

It may be a surprise for hockey fans outside of Colorado to believe that Rantanen is leading the league in points, but he has been a dominant force. It might be time for people to start believing in him and for Avalanche fans to not stop believing.

8. Columbus – Let’s Hear It For The Boy (Deniece Williams)

One of the biggest surprises of the 2016 NHL draft was when Columbus drafted Pierre-Luc Dubois third overall. He had a decent year for a rookie last season, but has really taken off this year, so let’s hear it for the boy.

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9. Boston – Hurts So Good (John Mellencamp)

When a team has had as many injuries as the Bruins have had, you would expect them to drop right out of early season contention. It has been quite the opposite for them however, as they have been hurting but still playing some very good games.

10. Calgary – Lovin’ Every Minute Of It (Loverboy)

Most fans of the Flames were probably not expecting the team to come out of the gate with this kind of success after missing the playoffs last season. Their young stars have been producing at a high level and they should be loving every minute of the success.

11. Winnipeg – Thank You For The Feelin’ (Bachman-Turner Overdrive)

Jets have been able to feel pretty good about the way that their stars have been playing, most notably Patrik Laine. There is no better band to choose from for the Jets than the Winnipeg natives and fans should be pretty thankful for the feeling of having a good hockey team.

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12. San Jose – You Can’t Hurry Love (Phil Collins)

There was a lot of hype surrounding the Sharks heading into this season due to the acquisition of Erik Karlsson. Things have not been going quite as well as they would have liked with a bit of a slow start from Karlsson. Sharks fans just need to keep patient until things begin to click.

13. NY Rangers – Destination Unknown (Missing Persons)

This was definitely not something that I expected to be saying this year, but the Rangers have actually been good. Since this was not something that people had been expecting, it is hard to know just how far they can take this run that they are on.

14. Montreal – Nuit Magique (Catherine Lara)

During the summer, most of the talk involving the Canadiens was about how they would be finishing near the bottom of the league. It is now clear that they are a much better team than we all expected and are enjoying some success on the backs of Max Domi and Jonathan Drouin.

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15. NY Islanders – Tainted Love (Soft Cell)

With the departure of their captain John Tavares, big things were not expected from the Islanders this season. They have done considerably better than what was expected from them, despite the love that has been tainted by Tavares not re-signing.

16. Dallas – Under Pressure (Queen)

The Dallas Stars have not been living up to what has been expected of them the past couple of years and with players like Jamie Benn, Tyler Seguin, Alexander Radulov, and John Klingberg, they should be doing better. They will definitely be under more pressure to perform up to the expectations.

17. Carolina – Rock You Like A Hurricane (Scorpions)

The Hurricanes are currently in a battle for the final wildcard spot and are finally living up to the expectations that the analytics community puts on them. Goaltending is still a question mark, but the rest of the team is ready to rock the league like a hurricane.

18. Vegas – Livin’ On A Prayer (Bon Jovi)

This team was one that people could not have predicted going into this year. After their Cup Final appearance, nobody knew just where they would rank this season. They got off to a poor start this season, but they are still living on a prayer in hopes for a playoff berth this season.

19. Anaheim – Should I Stay Or Should I Go (The Clash)

The Ducks are a team that have been consistently good over the past decade. This year, however, did not start off the way that they would have hoped. Time has not run out just yet for them, but they need to decide quickly if they will stay in this position or go up in the standings.

20. Vancouver – Youth Gone Wild (Skid Row)

Although the Canucks are not in a playoff spot and probably will not make the playoffs, they should still be happy with where they are at. They have a great group of young talent, including Elias Pettersson who has taken the league by storm. The youth has gone wild in Vancouver.

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21. Pittsburgh – The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Tight Fit)

With stars like Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Phil Kessel, and Kris Letang, the Penguins have been a perennial threat in the NHL. This season they have had some goaltending issues, resulting in them being much lower in the standings that usual. The lion may be sleeping for the night, but we can expect it to wake up very soon.

22. Chicago – Crazy Train (Ozzy Osbourne)

After firing one of the greatest coaches of all time in Joel Quenneville, it is obvious that things are not going as well as they had been for the past decade. With an aging core it is unlikely that they will be able to get back to where they once were. Things have certainly gone off the rails like a crazy train.

23. Detroit – Dream On (Aerosmith)

Detroit started the season on a monumentally bad run, but fans were not too disappointed as a first overall draft pick is something that would really help their rebuild. They then went on a really good stretch of winning fo a while and are stuck in between the bottom and a playoff spot. It seems like the fans will have to dream on about Jack Hughes in a Wings jersey.

24. Florida – I’m Bad (LL Cool J)

There was some excitement coming into the season after the acquisition of Mike Hoffman and more maturity from their young core, but for some reason they still cannot manage to be successful. I cannot put my finger on what is making them continuously bad.

25. Edmonton – Here I Go Again (Whitesnake)

The Edmonton Oilers are struggling once again and we have seen this many times over the past decade. It doesn’t seem to matter what Connor McDavid does because the team will somehow continuously get worse again and again.

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26. New Jersey – Owner Of A Lonely Heart (Yes)

After a surprising season last year, where Taylor Hall single-handedly dragged the Devils to the playoffs, the Devils need someone else to step up and help their cause. Schneider has not been the same goalie since his injury and Hall’s heart is getting pretty lonely waiting for someone to help him out.

27. Philadelphia – Holding Out For A Hero (Bonnie Tyler)

After firing general manager Ron Hextall, there are some questions that need to be answered and answered fast. They have a really talented team, but are just missing one piece. A quality starting goaltender. We will have to see how much longer they are willing to hold out for the hero they need.

28. Ottawa – House Of Pain (Faster Pussycat)

The Senators have been quite a train wreck this season. They made a very questionable trade, had an embarrassing video released by an Uber driver, and they have been playing badly. The only positive is that most people do not even attend Senators games in their house of pain.

29. Arizona – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For (U2)

Arizona is a team that year after year people say that this year will be there year. This has gone on for far too long for me to expect them to make a significant improvement. They will have to keep searching until they are able to find what they are looking for.

30. St. Louis – Free Fallin’ (Tom Petty)

The St. Louis Blues are often a decent enough team, even when there are not huge expectations set on them. They have really fallen off this year due to a number of issues including their goaltending. We can only wait and see how far they will fall.

31. Los Angeles – The Boys of Summer (Don Henley)

With the signing of Ilya Kovalchuk this past summer, there were some expectations set on the Kings to at least make the playoffs. They could not be further from that, as they are dead less and are quite obviously the worst team in the league. They will most certainly be getting an early summer this season.

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Author: Nicholas Parrott