Festivus Series: Metropolitan Divison

Seinfeld

Welcome back to my Festivus series.

Apologies for the brief hiatus. It has been a while since the first Festivus post went out. But, we are back with a Festivus post that is focused on the Metropolitan Division. 

At the Festivus table, every year we air our grievances and fans of Metropolitan Division teams have a lot of grievances. So, let’s begin.

New York Islanders

The New York Islanders are one of the rare teams that wasn’t brought up in an episode of Seinfeld. So, Islanders fans are most likely still annoyed that the Islanders weren’t mentioned in Seinfeld. 

Instead, the New York Rangers, New Jersey Devils, New York Yankees, New York Giants, New York Mets and the New York Knicks were mentioned in Seinfeld episodes. Unfortunately for whatever reason, the New York Jets, New Jersey Nets and the Islanders didn’t make the cut.

Aside from not being featured in an episode of Seinfeld, there are some either grievances (not John Tavares related) that Islanders fans have. 

In this post, we are going to limit it to one Islanders related grievance, so that Josh Tessler can walk around New York City safely.

If you look at CapFriendly.com, you’ll see that the Islanders are stuck with 34 year old, Johnny Boychuk until the end of the 2021-2022 season. In addition, Boychuk’s contract carries a No Movement Clause. Given his contract, you’d think that he’d be the best defenseman on the Islanders, but that’s not the case.

At this moment, he has a 46.3 corsi-for percentage and a 18:10 TOI/60. Those are more like 2 million dollar numbers, not 6 million dollar numbers. 

New York Rangers

So, if you’ve never been to Penn Station/Madison Square Garden, it’s not complicated to get to. Yet, if you asked Cosmo Kramer for instructions to how to take the Subway to MSG from the Upper West Side, you’ll be experiencing one crazy ride. He’d probably recommend that you take the B or D up to the 161st-Yankee Stadium. Then he’d have you switch to the 4, 5 or 6 and have you take that down to Grand Central. At Grand Central, you’d take the 7 train to Times Square. When you got to Times Square, you’d grab the 1, 2 or 3 to 34th st-Penn Station. 

Yet, you could the 1, 2 or 3 from the Upper West Side down to Penn Station/Madison Square Garden without changing lines. Unfortunately, you chose to listen to Kramer, who is the same person who decided to transform his apartment into the Merv Griffin set and chose to reverse his peephole.

Hopefully, the New York Rangers front office doesn’t listen to Kramer’s plans for their franchise. As, I’m not sure it would make sense.

If you are a New York Rangers fan, the only thing you’d probably grieve about this holiday season is that your front office is still paying Brendan Smith‘s 4.35 million USD contract until 2020-21. With how bad Smith has been over the past couple seasons, no one should be happy with his contract.

New Jersey Devils

The New Jersey Devils are David Puddy’s favorite team. I’m not positive if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I can imagine that Puddy wouldn’t be impressed with their goaltending this season.

In 9 games played, Cory Schneider had a 4.66 GAA and a .852 Sv% before being placed on Injured Reserve. With the Marblehead, Massachusetts native, the Devils have to rely on Keith Kinkaid. Unfortunately, Kinkaid hasn’t been spectacular either.

So, Devils fans will be grieving about their awful goaltending and hoping that prospect, Mackenzie Blackwood can come to the rescue and own the pipes.

Philadelphia Flyers

The Philadelphia Flyers remind me a lot of George Costanza. 

Costanza is the character that is just incredibly lazy and bounces from job to job. He also has commitment issues and can’t commit to one girlfriend. If we made a jersey with Costanza’s girlfriends’ names on the back, it’d be one long jersey. It’d actually be longer than the Cleveland Browns endless quarterback jersey. 

Unfortunately, Philadelphia’s front office is a lot like Costanza. They simply don’t know what they want to do and simply won’t commit. Last season, they acquired Petr Mrazek from the Detroit Red Wings. Flyers fans thought that Mrazek would save their goaltender issues, but Philadelphia decided not to commit. Now, Mrazek is on a new team.

Instead, the Flyers have had a ton of injuries and have had challenges finding the right goaltender to step in. At the moment, Carter Hart is in net, but who knows who long it’ll be before he’s out of the lineup too.

At the Holiday feast, Flyers fans will be grieving about the goaltender woes. If they are at the same table with a Devils fan, they’ll be able to console each other as they both are experiencing the same pain.

Pittsburgh Penguins

If you are with a Pittsburgh Penguins fan this holiday season, they’ll probably be grieving about Matt Murray

The Penguins lost Marc-Andre Fleury to the Vegas Golden Knights in the expansion draft and unfortunately are stuck with Murray. Oddly enough, Murray had a strong game last night against the Washington Capitals. Yet, he has failed to be consistent this season. At this point in the season, he owns a 3.70 GAA and a .890 Sv%. 

Penguins fans will be hoping that Murray gets a big package of Starbucks K-Cups on Christmas morning as he needs to wake up for the team to be successful.

Washington Capitals

Honestly, if you are a Washington Capitals fan, you have absolutely nothing to complain about. The Capitals just won the Stanley Cup and are first in the Metropolitan Division.

If you complain to your family and friends about the Capitals, I’m pretty sure no one will be sympathetic. The Capitals have a great team and Alex Ovechkin continues to show why he is the best goal scorer in the NHL.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Similar to the Capitals fans, fans of the Columbus Blue Jackets shouldn’t be complaining about how their team is doing this season.

However, they can complain that Artemi Panarin doesn’t want to stay in Columbus and that it’ll likely cost a fortune to keep Sergei Bobrovsky in Ohio. All-in-all, Blue Jackets fans need to hope that they can go far into the playoffs and hopefully to the Stanley Cup Finals. If that happens, perhaps, they’ll be able to convince Bobrovsky and Panarin to stick around.

Carolina Hurricanes

If you are a Carolina Hurricanes fan, you are grieving about your offense this holiday season.

At this moment, the Hurricanes are averaging 2.59 GF/GP. The Hurricanes are proving that even with a stellar defense comprised of Dougie Hamilton, Justin Faulk, Brett Pesce and others that offense wins games. The Hurricanes are 14-13-5 and are hungry for some offense.

Unfortunately, to obtain the offensive fire power that Hurricanes fans crave, they might have to give up some of their talented defensemen. 

Also, they can complain about goaltending. They haven’t had consistent goaltending and have yet to identify a true number one goaltender.

 
stats from NHL.com and hockey-reference.com

Author: Josh Tessler

Josh Tessler is the Editor and Founder of Puck77. Josh was born in Montreal, Quebec, but has spent most of his childhood and adult-life in the United States. From an early age, Josh had a passion for hockey. He spent a lot of time watching hockey with his grandfather, Sidney Schwartz. His favorite player growing up was Ray Bourque and he’s chosen to honor Bourque by using his number “77” in the blog’s name. Prior to Puck77, Josh wrote for FanSided’s Editor in Leaf (Toronto Maple Leafs blog), SB Nation’s Amazin’ Avenue (New York Mets blog) and Clark University’s The Scarlet. @JoshTessler_ - Twitter