Festivus Series: Central Division

It’s a Festivus for the Central Division.

It’s part three of Josh Tessler’s Festivus series (inspired by the 1990’s sitcom, Seinfeld).

If you are a fan of a Central Division team, well you probably have some grievances that you’d like to air at the holiday dinner table.

So, let’s begin!

Chicago Blackhawks

If you are a fan of the Chicago Blackhawks, I’m truly sorry. This season has been a rough one for you. Even though the Blackhawks have won three games in a row, it’s been a very bleak year in the Windy City. Currently, the Blackhawks have a 13-19-6 record.

To add to the fire, general manager of the Blackhawks, Stan Bowman fired legendary coach, John Quenneville and replaced him with Jeremy Colliton. Unfortunately, the switch at head coach hasn’t paid off for the Blackhawks and it looks as if the team might be forced to rebuild. 

Stan Bowman reminds me a lot of George Costanza. Costanza blames others for his misfortunes and Bowman blamed Quenneville for his misfortunes. Sadly, Quenneville wasn’t the problem. Perhaps, if Bowman didn’t trade Artemi Panarin for Brandon Saad, this would be a different story. He made one of the worst trades in the past decade and it’s one that Frank Costanza would complain about. (Remember, Frank Costanza complained about the New York Yankees trading Jay Buhner to George Steinbrenner)

Dallas Stars

If you are a Dallas Stars fan then all you want for Christmas is some offense. 

The Stars rank near the bottom of the NHL when it comes to Goals For/Games Played. At this moment, they are averaging 2.74 goals per game. That is pretty bad.

So, if you are a Stars fan, you are hoping that Santa Claus is dropping off a much needed second line. The Stars can’t survive down the stretch with just a stellar top line. Tyler Seguin, Jamie Benn and Alexander Radulov can’t solely carry this team. 

Minnesota Wild

Minnesota Wild fans aren’t happy at the moment. 

Their top defenseman, Mathew Dumba is out for a significant amount of time and the Wild are struggling to grab wins.

Perhaps, the Wild need a coaching change. Unfortunately, it would be sad to see Bruce Boudreau get fired from another coaching job. The former Jack Adams Award winning coach has been effective with all three teams that he’s coached, but perhaps his voice is just getting a bit too stale for the Wild.

On the bright side, at least, Zach Parise is finally playing well. After 33 games played, he has 15 goals, 14 assists and a 16.0 S%. If Parise can keep it up, perhaps, he can get the Wild out of their funk. But, if he reverts back to what we’ve seen in the past couple of seasons, it won’t be good for the Wild. 

St. Louis Blues

It’s tough to be a fan of the St. Louis Blues right now. 

It truly seems that nothing is working. The Blues are struggling in both the offensive and the defensive zones. They are averaging 2.82 Goals For/Games Played and 3.39 Goals Against/Games Played.

While you’d think that the easy fix would be in net, it seems that general manager, Doug Armstrong doesn’t seem to understand that. The Blues do have a solid offensive and defensive core, but have weak goaltending. Instead of looking to move Vladimir Tarasenko, Jaden Schwartz or Alex Pietrangelo, Blues fans should be begging Armstrong to trade for another goaltender. The Blues would have absolutely nothing to lose and if that truly didn’t work, then fans should be urging Armstrong not to do anything reckless like trading their top players. 

Colorado Avalanche, Nashville Predators, Winnipeg Jets

I’ll be blunt, if you are a fan of the Colorado Avalanche, Nashville Predators or the Winnipeg Jets. You can’t really complain. All three teams are amazing hockey clubs and are pretty much a lock for the playoffs.

If there are issues, they are incredibly minor. So, sit back and watch your divisional foes suffer. 

stats from NHL.com and hockey-reference.com

featured image photo credit – Josh Tessler

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